Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
