You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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