I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize