he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
