it's not cheating when I paid for it
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize