Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
