I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Randomize
