I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
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