Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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