loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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