Don't EVER smell your tampon
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
