i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
