I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Duck Duck Cougar?
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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