did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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