Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize