idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
There's always time for handjobs
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
