community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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