it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
