omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
We need to rekindle our bromance
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
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