even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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