I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
