hell yes lets make some ravioli
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
