I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
we're making bets on your personal life
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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