either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
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