All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Randomize
