He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Randomize
