I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
