True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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