yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
