The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
