Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
you guys were way drunker than both of me
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
You pole danced in your parka.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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