I swear she didn't look like that last week.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
