Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
