Hey man sorry I got all grabby
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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