I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
