You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
We need to rekindle our bromance
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
