you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
