the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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