Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize