Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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