She's JV to your varsity
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize
