I'm pants shitting drunk right now
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Randomize
