New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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