We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
