So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Terrible idea I love it
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Randomize
