So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
