worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
40s are totally the cure
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
