all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
