I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
