we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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