His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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