Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I need water and some morals
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
try to milk me bitch
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
