I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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