No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
