If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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