If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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