i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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