is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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