I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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