apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
