are you still at the devil's house?
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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