it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
